How to use anger to move you forward
Last week when I stopped to look back over my life, I got hopping mad.
So many missed opportunities. So much potential wasted. So many well-meaning but crippling comments I’ve taken to heart and built a life on.
Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever gotten so mad at yourself you wanted to break something? Have you ever wanted to print out pictures of your enemies and use them for target practice?
We all have sometimes, though you might not admit it.
Here’s what my anger led me to do (instead of break stuff ).
First, calm your butt down.
Let’s face it. The energy from anger is good, but only if you channel it in the right way.
If you let your anger run free, it’s like driving down the highway at 90 miles an hour, putting a brick on the gas pedal, taking your hands off the wheel, and letting the car go wherever gravity takes it.
You know you’re gonna crash, but you really don’t care at the moment.
The problem is, you will hit something and the result won’t be pretty. It might be expensive. And you’ll probably leave the scene with regrets.
So is anger a waste of energy then? Fires start with friction. And change in your own life won’t happen without sparks.
All I’m saying is take a breath. Stop for a minute. Look into the future. Dig deep now…what you do really want?
When you know, write down the steps you’ll take to make your desired future your reality.
Second, quit worrying about all the mistakes you’ll make.
I’m a perfectionist. I think it’s in my DNA. I want to win, be loved, and be recognized for my awesome efforts.
The truth is people don’t care about that nearly as much as I do.
So I quit worrying about it.
You know what I discovered?
People care more about what you do for them than anything else.
Love people and they’ll probably love you back.
Say hello and most people will smile and say hello, too.
Keep the promises you make and people will trust you.
Will you fail? You bet. Don’t we all? Welcome to humanity.
Mistakes are part of life. They’re essential to your growth. Without them, you’ll live a safe, but incredibly boring life.
So get over it and just put yourself out there.
Go ahead and get mad, but find a safe place to vent it out.
I started venting into a digital journal three years ago.
Much of the time I ranted and rambled. I blew off steam, said things I was afraid to say in public, and let my imagination run wild.
Then a surprising thing happened.
Once the anger subsided, I was able to think more clearly than ever.
I started working through things I’d been blind to before.
I quit focusing on what was impossible and started considering what was possible.
I remembered that my life is filled with failures and successes.
One thing I’ve decided to do is write in public again. 2020 was a hard year for me, just like it probably was for you. I really wasn’t ready for it.
2021 is a year full of promise. I can’t promise I won’t get angry again. But I can promise to use anger as fuel to move forward.
I hope you will, too.
It’s really up to you. Use your feelings to improve your life, not ruin it. They’re really just a wake up call to embrace a new day.