How to Kill Your Facebook Clone

Why Destroying a Cheap Copy of You is Okay

Frank McKinley

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Photo by Braydon Anderson on Unsplash

Last night I woke up to find I had 9 new notifications on Facebook Messenger.

Did people suddenly decide to get talkative? Was it my birthday and I had somehow forgotten in the bustle of life? Did Facebook close my group without telling me?

Nope. None of the above.

I had been cloned overnight.

Real Friends to the Rescue

I’m involved in several groups. So while I slept, my wide awake friends posted stuff like this on my behalf:

Frank’s Photo

It didn’t slow the clone down a bit, at least at first.

He (or she/it) started working his way through my friends list. One after the other, messages were sent proclaiming so-called good news.

Wow. That is some scintillating conversation there, huh?

First, I would never talk like that. I’ve been speaking English my whole life and I would never murder it with such a mundane use of words.

Second, if you want friends, you don’t just go straight for their wallets. You ask them how they’re doing because you really want to know, right? We get enough spam in the ads on our Facebook sidebars. And if you’re on mobile, they’re right in your newsfeed, lest you miss them.

Remember this, though. Those ads are what makes Facebook free for us all to use forever.

And you can scan right past them.

The scary part (and maybe the coolest) is that Facebook is watching you. They know what you want. And they’ll deliver it to you. So at least the ads you see are in your interests.

Well, most of the time anyway…

Clones only have their own interests at heart.

The Assassination Plot Begins

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Frank McKinley

I like to figure things out and share what I find. My favorite topics are faith, communication, business, and personal growth. https://skl.sh/2Xp1p8d