You’re right, Seán. We have to deal with our pain to grab the lessons from it.
It helps to see it as objectively and as personally as we can. It’s kind of a dual role we play. First, we have to feel it long enough to hand it over to our objective self to examine. The objective self then becomes a trusted friend who tells our troubled self, “This is over. And it doesn’t have to hold you prisoner anymore. You are not your pain. You are meant for more.”
Now go share that “more” with the world. That’s your mission, your calling. Embrace it.